The Sleeping Beauty ride at Disneyland was altered so she won't get a non-consensual kiss. The Handsome Prince will now awaken her with a bullhorn. Disney is so woke that Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is now called Person of No Color and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals.
Donald Trump got news Wednesday that a panel of academics delegated by Facebook banned him from the social media platform. He was also kicked off Twitter. The next day, the EPA banned Trump from cooking on any outdoor barbecue grills keep him from communicating by smoke signals.
President Biden in Louisiana last week pitched his two and a half trillion-dollar infrastructure bill to taxpayers, that's two and a half, followed by twelve zeroes. And he compares himself to FDR. The last time America was attacked by this many zeroes Franklin D. Roosevelt declared war on Japan.
President Biden delayed his outdoor speech Friday because he couldn't find his mask, one day after he said outdoor masks are unnecessary. Nothing makes sense. We now live in a country where you can buy marijuana at the store, but you've got to buy menthol cigarettes from a dude in the alley.
Nancy Pelosi noted the ninetieth birthday of legendary San Francisco Giants star Willie Mays Friday by posting a photo of herself with Willie McCovey. But no one is doubting she's a good Democrat. The framed picture of President Obama in her office is signed, Best Wishes Nancy, Denzel.
The Labor Department said the U.S. added only a quarter million jobs in April, down from the million new jobs economists predicted. The report came out Friday. It looked bad for Biden, but then after midnight six million jobs came in, and now the U.S. is at three hundred percent employment.
Dr. Fauci said Sunday that in the future mask-wearing might become seasonal and Americans might be required to wear masks during flu seasons. That's a trial balloon. Ten bucks says the moment Covid is gone we'll have to wear masks to protect ourselves from climate change and racism.
Major League Baseball teams began allowing full attendance at stadiums over the weekend as outdoor life and activities started to normalize across the nation. It seems the news gets better every day. Dr. Fauci just declared that if you wear two swim suits you can pee in the pool all summer.
The White House claimed the U.S. border is secure Monday just as Fox News was interviewing illegal aliens from Venezuela right after they splashed across the Rio Grande. One Venezuelan said they're fleeing socialism for the United States. There's always someone who doesn't get the word.
The White House Health Director refused to yield on mask-wearing Sunday but said the CDC will allow Americans more and more privileges. I'm starting to push back. Last night I could have been arrested in Los Angeles for eating a peanut butter open-faced sandwich with no mask on it.
The New York Times cited infectious disease doctors in the U.S. and Britain who said the CDC is misleading people by exaggerating the risk of spreading Covid outdoors. The U.S. government has just set up the Covid Fraud Hotline. Before you waste your time, they already know about Dr. Fauci.
The Washington Post reported long lines at gas stations in Virginia Tuesday as thousands of gas stations ran out of fuel due to the hack of the Colonial Pipeline. The gas lines happened on top of inflation reports and tensions with Iran. Experts blame Biden, now he's plagiarizing Jimmy Carter.
President Biden repeatedly stumbled over words and phrases at his press briefing Wednesday and forgot Mitch McConnell's name. I think his gaffes pale in comparison to his accomplishments in civil rights. If nothing else, Joe Biden has destroyed the myth of white supremacy once and for all.
GOP Congresswoman Liz Cheney was voted out of her party leadership post in the House over her irreconcilable dislike and disavowal of former President Trump. It sounds like it could be an emotional issue. Trump pulled all U.S. troops out of the Middle East and Liz's heart belongs to Daddy.