The Senate Judiciary Committee heard Professor Ford and Judge Kavanaugh tell their stories Thursday. Social media erupted into a bitter day-long civil war over the veracity of the testimony. The good news is, Russia just halted trying to divide America on Facebook, saying they can't compete.
GOP Senator Jeff Flake consulted with Senate Democrats and changed his mind about voting to confirm Kavanaugh unless the FBI investigates him. The good news is, Flake just signed a huge deal to endorse a new shoe for Nike. They plan to advertise the shoe as the Air Jordan of Flip-Flops.
Judge Kavanaugh spent more time testifying about his love of beer Thursday than discussing past legal cases. His case history is as general as his Senate testimony. No one knows how Judge Kavanaugh would rule on Roe vs. Wade, he wouldn't even take sides on Less Filling vs. Tastes Great.
Judge Kavanaugh's confirmation vote in the Senate will require fifty-one votes after the FBI probe. In the old days you needed sixty votes, and, he'd need nine Democrats to be confirmed. To get those votes, Kavanaugh would be forced to play the ace up his sleeve and announce that he's gay.
Senate Republicans got Judge Kavanaugh to testify about the price the confirmation process has put on him. His opponents aren't kidding around. While Brett Kavanaugh was describing the things he can no longer do, like coach basketball, he should have added go out to eat in Washington.
Special Counsel Robert Mueller was seen getting his laptop repaired at an Apple store in the D.C. area. Not much came of it. The Apple repair team told Mueller to unplug the witch hunt for five minutes, then plug it back in, and see if that helps find anything incriminating on the president.