Paul Manafort's conviction on eight federal crimes Tuesday was followed by Michael Cohen's pleading guilty to five federal crimes. All this bad news in one day for Trump's former associates has his political enemies smelling blood in the water. Mexico just offered to pay for the impeachment.
The White House reported Friday that U.S. trade envoys and Mexican trade representatives are nearing a trade deal that will enable businesses to compete on both sides of the border. Last Sunday, a restaurant in Mexico City was busted for selling tacos filled with tarantulas. Your move, Chipotle's.
President Trump at a White House event Monday praised a Hispanic ICE officer for speaking perfect English. My favorite word in Spanish this week is the word hotel. President Trump paid a porn star one-hundred and thirty thousand bucks to tell no one they had sex, but the hotel everyone.
Michael Cohen claimed he decided to rat out Trump's payments to women after watching him toast Putin in Helsinki last month. What Trump needed all along was a fixer who was capable of silencing all the women in his past. Instead of defeating Hillary Clinton, he should have hired her.
The White House faced jubilant reporters Tuesday who think Paul Manafort's conviction and Michael Cohen's guilty plea meant they had the president nailed to the wall. People who think that they have Trump cornered have forgotten the first rule of big game hunters. The tiger has other ideas.
John Bolton will meet the Russians in Geneva to discuss restoring business with Russia. Pfizer recently sued the Russian drug maker Teva for its illegally branded Viagra pills. If Trump brought any home from Moscow the Democrats finally have the Russians nailed for meddling in our erections.
Senator Elizabeth Warren launched an attack on Wall Street and the rich Wednesday in what many saw as a presidential campaign rehearsal. It was no surprise she earned one million dollars last year. If you saw the size of the casino in Tulsa you'd know the Cherokees are doing very well now.
President Trump will visit Paris in November for the one-hundredth anniversary of the end of World War One. In this past century, the French taught us one great lesson. If you help someone when they're in trouble they will always remember you, especially the next time that they're in trouble.
Senator Elizabeth Warren launched an attack on Wall Street and the rich Wednesday in what many saw as a presidential campaign rehearsal. It was no surprise she earned one million dollars last year. If you saw the size of the casino in Tulsa you'd know the Cherokees are doing very well now.
The Washington Post apologized Monday for characterizing John McCain as a racist during his presidential campaigns. The media spent all day glorifying him. McCain has gone from being screwed by Democrats to being a choirboy so quickly than many people think he's from Pennsylvania.
Joe Biden was asked to deliver a eulogy at John McCain's memorial service at the National Cathedral Saturday. Never forget how much fun he'd be as president. When Joe Biden was asked by reporters about the New Mexico trade deal, he asked what we get in return for trading New Mexico.
John McCain was eulogized by Hollywood stars Tuesday as a great man of honor who spoke truth to Trump. The Emmy Awards just announced a new acting award category. It's for Best Performance by a Celebrity Praising a Dead Republican They Spent the Last Twenty Years Trashing.
President Trump said Google isn't fair to him because only negative stories pop up whenever people Google his name. Consider Trump's side. There may be a tech bias against you if people Google syphilis, gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Hitler and YOU'RE number-one in the search engine results.
Florida Democrats nominated a Bernie Sanders-backed Socialist for governor in Tuesday's primary. Socialists say the U.S. is a racist, imperialistic, misogynistic cesspool of worker exploitation and white privilege, and that it's wrong to block people from coming here to enjoy its many blessings.