ZitatATLANTA, GA—An exclusive new CNN report revealed Thursday that President Trump has kidnapped three people from the paradise of North Korea, forcing them to get on a plane and return to the United States against their wishes.
A teary-eyed CNN anchor broke the story, visibly enraged at the egregious act of international terrorism. CNN reporters had discovered that the three visitors had been in North Korea enjoying a vacation for many months before Trump unilaterally decided to have them forcibly flown back to America, even aggressively accosting them when they landed.
“This heartbreaking story shows just how low President Trump will go,” the anchor said, his voice quavering. “How much longer will this country allow this madman to go on trampling the name of the United States on the world stage? This is an unprecedented act, for a sitting president to personally kidnap perfectly happy visitors to the communist wonderland of North Korea.”
“The time for impeachment is now!” he added, beginning to chant, “Impeach Trump! Impeach Trump!”
At publishing time, sources at CNN had been able to confirm that Trump is planning on flying to a meeting with Kim Jong Un, where the two will discuss how to most efficiently destroy and enslave the world.
ZitatATLANTA, GA—An exclusive new CNN report revealed Thursday that President Trump has kidnapped three people from the paradise of North Korea, forcing them to get on a plane and return to the United States against their wishes.
A teary-eyed CNN anchor broke the story, visibly enraged at the egregious act of international terrorism. CNN reporters had discovered that the three visitors had been in North Korea enjoying a vacation for many months before Trump unilaterally decided to have them forcibly flown back to America, even aggressively accosting them when they landed.
“This heartbreaking story shows just how low President Trump will go,” the anchor said, his voice quavering. “How much longer will this country allow this madman to go on trampling the name of the United States on the world stage? This is an unprecedented act, for a sitting president to personally kidnap perfectly happy visitors to the communist wonderland of North Korea.”
“The time for impeachment is now!” he added, beginning to chant, “Impeach Trump! Impeach Trump!”
At publishing time, sources at CNN had been able to confirm that Trump is planning on flying to a meeting with Kim Jong Un, where the two will discuss how to most efficiently destroy and enslave the world.
This great piece of satire is unfortunately not all that far from reality:
Hallie Jackson: Trump Greeting Hostages Was A ‘Staged Production’ Amber Athey Media Reporter
MSNBC’s Hallie Jackson praised President Donald Trump on Thursday for securing the release of three hostages held by North Korea, but she also seemed to knock him for making it a “staged production” of their arrival in Washington, DC.
Jackson called the release a “special moment” and a “moment of intense anticipation,” but noted that it was “carefully choreographed.”
“Donald Trump is a former reality show producer,” Jackson asserted. “This was a staged production meant for television; meant for the cameras, meant to be shown and seen here in this country and around the world.”
“You had floodlights lighting up this 30 x 50-foot American flag, hanging in between two ladder trucks, as the plane carrying these men rolled in,” she continued. “This moment when the president and first lady holding hands went up the stairs, spending six minutes in private conversation and then unexpectedly, because we didn’t think that was going to happen, unexpectedly coming over with these men and taking a number of questions from reporters.”