Quips from a sign in front of the Wallingford Chevron gas station in Seattle, Washington

I checked into the Hokey Pokey Clinic and turned myself around.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

A clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I child proofed my house, but the kids still get in.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

My idea of a super bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.

http://needtoknow.news/archives/2016-2/2016-07-29/