The subject of stopping the Hawaiian volcano has come up.
According to ancient Hawaiian tradition, the quickest way to APPEASE PELE and have the volcanic fires stop is to make a human sacrifice into her fires, and according to tradition, that needs to be a celebrated leader who was born in Hawaii and held a position of power for 8 years.
Obama quickly announced he was actually born in Kenya, and has the Birth Certificate to prove it.
Illegitimi non Carborundum
During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- Orwell
The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it - Orwell
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days................
A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
Quote: Cincinnatus wrote in post #302 WHAT AISLE IS THE POLISH SAUSAGE IN?
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days................
A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
The clerk replied,
"Because you're in Ace Hardware."
How terribly un-PC
Illegitimi non Carborundum
During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- Orwell
The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it - Orwell
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male.... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve Male..... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Say, you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and two bullets. You are allowed to shoot two worthless politicians or other crap in society.
This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That’s great.
Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home.
And you will get rid of a couple of useless politicians or other social crap while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what?
Illegitimi non Carborundum
During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- Orwell
The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it - Orwell
I went to the liquor store Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of single malt Scotch whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would certainly break, so I drank the whole 26 ounces before I left for home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times before I arrived home.
Illegitimi non Carborundum
During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- Orwell
The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it - Orwell
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks... like I said, my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy."
Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks .... so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? You said he was 25 pounds the day he was born."
The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
How can the Democrats say they support border security when they also advocate for sanctuary cities?
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Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:16 pm
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