The White House Communications Office went into emergency scramble mode Thursday, calling in the White House physician and Director of Covid Response to address reporters after it was announced that President Biden got Covid. You figure, why not? He's gotten everything else from China.
President Biden posted photos of himself relaxing at his desk in the White House Thursday after doctors said he tested positive for Covid. It may give the whole country a breather. Doctors ordered President Biden to rest and take two weeks off work, and give gas and food prices plenty of time to heal.
The White House Director of Covid Response addressed reporters Thursday and described Biden's physical condition and the treatment. So far Joe's only side effects have been slurred speech, some occasional confusion and a shuffling walk. Biden is expected to make a full and imperceptible recovery.President Biden was listing the dangers of global warming in Boston Wednesday when he sent the White House into correction mode by casually claiming he has cancer. He had non-cancerous moles removed two years ago. Even if President Biden has cancer, there's no need to worry, his wife is a doctor.
Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen shared stories together about the influence of their fathers on their life in a book called Renegades: Born in the USA. They both remain in the news. Last Thursday, Obama received a get-well call from Joe Biden after Biden heard that the president has Covid.
President Biden raised concerns when he told a crowd he's got cancer followed by the next day when Joe announced he's tested positive for Covid. However the White House physician reported the good news Saturday that Biden doesn't have cancer or Covid. Turns out he's just pregnant.President Biden posted a video Friday assuring us that his Covid symptoms were mild only twenty-four hours after he'd tested positive for the virus. The political world reacted quickly to the news. Ten minutes after he was diagnosed with Covid he got a get-well note from Kamala saying, stay positive!
Congresswoman AOC pretended to be handcuffed for cameras after cops broke up the Supreme Court protest. She's being mocked over her invisible handcuffs. We'll all feel dumb when we find out AOC really did get handcuffed by the same invisible guy President Biden is always shaking hands with.
New York's District Attorney confirmed consensus opinion in New York and admitted street crime is out of control in New York Friday. Here in West Hollywood I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, I Miss New York. So I smashed his window, stole his radio and left a note saying, I hope this helps.
Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen went on the Sunday talk shows to argue with reporters over the definition of a recession, which Yellen denied we're in. If you don't eat out as often as you once did, it's a recession. If you find yourself eating out more, only it's out of a dumpster, it's a depression.
Al Gore likened climate deniers Sunday to the Uvalde police for standing by idly as we all die from climate change. Climate deniers agree that someone should rush in and shoot Al Gore. Al has been drafted by the Democratic Party while Biden is sidelined by Covid to take over making stupid comments.
President Biden spent a fifth day in isolation Monday posting photos of him working on the White House balcony with his dog Major next to him. The dog is there for plausible deniability. As long as Major is by the president's side, no one can prove which one of them is peeing on the Oval Office carpet.
The Conference Board released monthly data Tuesday showing the Consumer Confidence Index fell to its lowest level since the depths of the pandemic. The disenchantment signaled the approach of a recession. In response to the news, the White House redefined recession and released it without bail.
Nancy Pelosi drew the wrath of China Tuesday by revealing plans to travel to Taiwan to show U.S. support for the threatened island off China. Both Democrats and Republicans agree on the idea of Nancy Pelosi going to Taiwan. Where they differ sharply is over whether or not she should come back.