President Biden's funniest moment in the State of the Union was when he called the Ukrainian people the Iranian people. Critics tallied ten enjoyable gaffes during the president's speech. Near the beginning, tears welled up in Biden's eyes until the voice in his earpiece shouted not Onion, Union!
U.S. Navy and Royal Navy subs sailed into the Black Sea to keep a check on Russian Navy ships that are shelling Ukraine from the South. Just one trigger-happy idiot on either side could ignite a nuclear war. It's moments like this that I'm glad Alec Baldwin doesn't have control of the Red October.
Russia's Ministry of Defense scrambled to correct problems their soldiers are having in the field in Ukraine on Tuesday. They could be saved by military aid from the U.S. Russian soldiers are having trouble fighting at night so they ordered top-grade night vision goggles and binoculars from the Taliban.
NBC News reported on the propaganda war going on between Ukraine and Russia as well as the war on the ground. Ukraine claims they've killed five thousand Russian soldiers while Russia claims only two soldiers have died. So do Russian soldiers have twenty-five hundred smaller ones inside them?
Vice President Kamala Harris was dispatched to Poland Monday to represent the U.S. government in dealing with the refugee crisis at the Polish-Ukraine border. Some things never change. When Kamala greeted the Ukrainian refugees arriving at the border, out of habit, she welcomed them to Texas.
The White House supported the U.S. corporate sanctions to punish Russia Monday. They've been cut off from CNN, Porn Hub, Facebook, and Coca-Cola's next. If we keep these sanctions up at the current rate, Russia will be the healthiest and most well-adjusted country on this planet in a few months.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki batted down calls for the president to open up Anwar and finish the Keystone pipeline to increase oil supply. This week our local Chevron station hired a full-time attendant just to keep changing the price of gas. It's going up faster than Biden's vote count after 2:00 AM.
ABC News reported that gasoline prices hit an all-time high of four dollars a gallon nationwide Monday, causing more pain at the pump for motorists, but it's much worse in L.A. Gasoline prices are now seven dollars a gallon in West Hollywood. It's cheaper to buy cocaine and just run everywhere.
Russian dictator Vladimir Putin looked increasingly beleaguered on TV Sunday as he received bad news and good news. The bad news is, he may face war crime charges for ordering the invasion of Ukraine. The good news is, he might receive the Nobel Prize for Medicine for ending the Covid pandemic.
Vice President Kamala Harris arrived in Warsaw Thursday to show U.S. support for Poland and NATO. However she caused eyes to roll at the press conference when she emitted an inappropriate cackling laugh when asked about the refugees. Now the Polish people are telling Kamala Harris jokes.
The White House reacted to the huge jump in February's inflation numbers posted Thursday by blaming high gas prices on Russia's invasion of Ukraine. They cited Russia for the higher price of food at the grocery store as well. President Biden just blamed the high cost of bread on Vladimir Gluten.
Oil and Gas Journal reported that gasoline prices at the pump jumped fifty cents in one week last week breaking the all-time record. My nightmares are starting to merge. I dreamed last night that Dr. Fauci came back on CNN and ordered no driving for fifteen days until we flatten the gas price curve.
-- Argus Hamilton
If I were running the Republican Party, I’d have voter registration signups at every gas station in America. Citizens may not be able to do much about energy prices right now, but they can act decisively in November to elect new representatives.