Saturday, April 26, 2014 Introducing the Envia Discord 2015 Daniel Greenfield
PRESS RELEASE
These days every car company claims that their latest model is environmentally friendly no matter how much it pollutes the planet and makes Indians standing by the side of a road cry bitter tears.
But what does environmentally friendly really mean? At Envia Motors, we set out to make a car without concessions to speed, performance or handling because we put the environment first.
Fueled by a dream and two billion dollars in government grant money, we challenged ourselves to see whether four community organizers with no technical knowledge or skill could create a car that would become a compulsory driving experience.
And with the Envia Discord 2015, we succeeded beyond your wildest mandated imagination.
The Discord isn't just a car. It's a political experience. It speaks to our yearnings and aspirations. And it has plastic skis permanently attached to the roof so it looks like you're always heading to a ski weekend even when you're going off to pretend to work at a non-profit to help inner city children.
Envia is all about choice. That's why the Discord 2015 comes in every color from Avocado Green to Plantain Green so that you can have your Green Car... just the way you like it.
But the Discord isn't just environmentally friendly. Its commitment to social justice begins with steering wheels at every seat so everyone can drive. Studies show that even in multiracial families, white males are most likely to be the drivers and the Discord uses engineered disruption to sabotage the patriarchy.
Like the progressive movement, the Discord has no brakes. Because once we're moving Forward, there's never a reason to stop.
The Envia Discord 2015 also has no seat belts or airbags because... check your privilege. Most people of color around the world lack these things and it's only your sense of entitlement that leads you to expect that a car company should value your life more than that of a person of color.
Some might say that the Discord is missing something, but we prefer to think of it as the meaningful absence that the Discord brings into your life. We didn't just leave out things that every other car has to save money. With a sticker price of $395,000, that obviously was never an issue. Instead we did it as part of our mutual commitment to changing how we envision what a car is.
Car companies have encouraged consumers to see their vehicles as property to protect against the economically challenged. Envia Motors disrupts the capitalist system of property and theft by taking all the locks off the doors, the trunk and the ignition.