VALNUT, Pustelya Kiev (formerly Nogales, Ariz.) (TG) – Still reeling from a 2012 Supreme Court ruling that prohibited it from enforcing its border with Mexico, Arizona today formally ceded a 398-mile-long strip of land spanning its entire border with Mexico to the embattled European country of Ukraine. Extending 20 miles inland from the Mexican border, the Ukrainian exclave, dubbed Pustelya Kiev in a brief incorporation ceremony, is larger than the state of Connecticut by area.

Since the March 1 military occupation of Ukraine’s Crimean Peninsula, the Obama administration has been loudly chiding Russia about the virtues of territorial integrity and the importance of respecting international borders. In a grave sign that the crisis could soon spin out of control, President Obama even cast aspersions at Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin’s choice of lawyers and threatened to unholster his favorite Crayola, “Razzmatazz,” to draw yet another meaningless red line.

Meanwhile, the administration has soft pedaled border security in its sphere of influence, emphasizing a “path to citizenship” for the 11 million illegal immigrants currently ensconced in the United States over shoring up the porous U.S.-Mexican border. Just under half of the illegal immigrants who enter the country do so along Arizona’s border with Mexico. Annually, illegal immigrants harvest about $1.5 billion in Arizona education benefits, $340 million in state court and law enforcement costs, $85 million in welfare, and $690 million in health care.

Yet when Arizona had the temerity to adopt its own laws to thwart illegal immigration on a state level, the administration responded swiftly, siccing its Justice Department praetorians upon the state. A costly, multi-year lawsuit ensued, ending when the Supreme Court dutifully emasculated the upstart law in 2012.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, who naively fought for her state’s immigration law in 2010, explained the reasoning behind the land handover to Ukraine: “We’ve learned a lot since 2010, when we childishly thought that if the federal government didn’t care about observing an international border, they at least wouldn’t care if we did it for them.

“Today, we know that on the one hand, they don’t care about the border between Arizona and Mexico, but on the other hand, they care passionately about the integrity of a border in Europe over 6,000 miles away. So we figured, let’s get some synergy out of this here in our own backyard.”

Indeed, the move seems to have caught all parties off guard, Eager to welcome entitlement-seeking, future democratic voters, the Obama administration is loathe to slow the pace of illegal immigrants swarming across from Mexico. At the same time, it fears further humiliation at the hands of Vladimir Putin, who in less than two weeks has conquered, over Obama’s weak protestations and toothless threats, over 10,000 square miles without firing more than a warning shot.

“The president has directed me to deploy one of our two remaining combat-ready brigades to Pustelya Kiev,” said Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel immediately after being awakened from a nap and handed a brief set of talking points. “These shock troops can be in-state, er, in-country in a matter of hours. We will not abide Mexican aggression against our Ukranian friends.”

Meanwhile pro-Western Ukranian Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk, although also surprised, seemed relieved with the sudden enfeoff. “When we are crushed completely by Russia, Valnut (formerly Nogales) will make a lovely seat for our government in exile.”

http://thoughtgrime.com/arizona-cedes-st...mexican-border/