In cold years like these, climate change deniers always ask a trick question, "How come global warming can cause both heating and cooling?" The answer is actually quite simple.
We all know that sometimes it's hot as Hell*, and sometimes it's cold as Hell. Clearly, Hell can make it hotter or colder. The science is settled on the fact that global warming will be Hell on Earth, and since Hell can make it hotter or colder, global warming can, therefore, also make it hotter or colder.
Let's go one step further. Things can also boring as Hell, as in "nothing's happening, it's the same old same-old." Thus, Hell can also mean that things don't change. If you've followed the reasoning so far, you can clearly see that if it gets hotter, colder, or temperatures are flat, it's due to global warming. Just as predicted. ......................................................... We're talking about a return to the Medieval warm period. We certainly know what that entails. Viking raids will start up all over again. The polar bear will become extinct a second time. All peer-reviewed literature will be written in Latin. There'll be no Obamacare and everybody's four humors will get totally out of whack without the government managing our bodily functions. And that's just the tip of the iceberg - except there'll be no icebergs!
All because of CO2. You know what produces a lot of CO2? Climate change deniers, who just can't stop breathing in and out. We must put an end to that.
Story by Comrade Will Beria, illustrations by Comrade Red Square.